Johnny Depp claims to have submitted 87 pieces of evidence against his ex-wife Amber Heard, stating he is the victim of abuse. Sadly, no one seems to care.
Male victims of abuse, be it physical, mental or sexual, are often left out of the conversation surrounding abuse and how to fix the problem. In many cases, they are dismissed or looked at with more suspicion than their female counterparts.
With men, they sometimes are forced to wonder if they are a victim or an abuser. According to the Mayo Clinic, abusers will often manipulate the situation to fit their narrative.
“It's common for survivors of domestic violence to act out verbally or physically against the abuser, yelling, pushing or hitting him or her during conflicts,” the website said. “The abuser may use such incidents to manipulate you, describing them as proof that you are the abusive partner.”
For some victims, particularly men, it’s difficult to even tell if they are in an abusive relationship.
“If you're having trouble identifying what's happening, take a step back and look at larger patterns in your relationship,” the Mayo Clinic website said. “Then, review the signs of domestic violence. In an abusive relationship, the person who routinely uses these behaviors is the abuser. The person on the receiving end is being abused.”
Even if you're still not sure, seek help. Intimate partner violence causes physical and emotional damage — no matter who is at fault.”
The fact Depp’s situation isn’t making headlines like when Heard accused him of abuse is detrimental to male advocates and movements like #MeToo.
During the start of #MeToo movement many men, famous and ordinary, came forward about abuse, harassment and objectification they faced, but were met with rejection and ridicule. One of the more famous incidents of this was when “Game of Thrones” star Kit Harington came forward about a type of objectification in the film industry. He was then pushed to apologize for his comments.
I wonder if his wife, “Game of Thrones” co-star, Rose Leslie, would have faced the same backlash if she said women were objectified in Hollywood. My guess would be no.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four men has been physically abused by an intimate partner. However, despite how large of a problem this is, people just don’t seem to care as much and even find humor in the abuse of men.
A U.K. social experiment conducted in 2017, found people are more likely to step in if the victim is a woman.
“We staged a social experiment, with a man threatening to abuse a woman, and then a woman threatening to abuse a man,” participant Eline Van Der Velden said. “We used the same words and body language, and it happened for the same amount of time in the same place… When the roles were reversed, and I was screaming at Will (the other participant), only one person stopped in 90 minutes.”
Of the people who watched the situation, most were apathetic at best and mocking Will at worst.
“Most people just kept on walking. Some teenage boys even came over and started taking photos and posting them on Snapchat...They thought it was funny he was being humiliated in public - it was worth a Snapchat.”
If we are going to demand justice for victims, we should demand justice for all victims and not just women.