I’ve seen all I need to see after the presidential debate. Well, I didn’t actually watch the debate; I rewatched episodes of “The Office” that I have seen 11 times — it’s better than “Friends” — and then saw a highlights video on Facebook, but I am now sure in my choice for who I am voting for in the election.
Some people prefer to do research and actually study a candidate’s policy, but that seems kind of hard. I mean I’m sure I am as informed as most other people that will vote in November. I’ve seen three memes about Biden from my very racist uncle, and my aunt who is married to that uncle — surprisingly solid relationship — trapped me in a 30-minute conversation where she explained why she hates Trump.
I have had the full unbiased perspective from both sides of the aisle so I’m ready. And yeah, I know that the New York Times just published Trump’s tax returns, but did you see how long that article was? I’ll check it out when someone drops the SparkNotes for it.
I saw a 45-second clip that was titled “Best Roasts from 2020 Debate.” I’m sure someone on the random comedy page on Facebook fact-checked the statements to see if they were accurate. And if not who cares? I want to be dazzled, not bored with real life.
All I’ve been hearing about is that this is the most important voting decision of the 21st century. Well, I’d say that’s rather disrespectful to the hay-day episodes of “American Idol.” This election might be for the soul of America, but I am almost to Jim and Pam’s wedding episode — spoiler alert — so I have better ways to spend my time. I’m writing-in Kanye.