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The University Police Department’s entire ticketing system is a full blown scam.

The only place in Missouri you can get charged 50 bucks for acutely minor traffic violations is on this frozen hell of a campus—unless every other university in the state employs a bunch of snake oil salesmen wearing police uniforms.

Did I really roll through that four-way stop sign, or are they just paying you to say I did? It was 10:30 p.m. and dark as can be, and you were parked 40 yards away, so how, officer, do you really know if my tires stopped spinning or not?

I’d like to see how many tickets UPD gives out in one evening while they send some nondescript officer to a nondescript stop sign waiting for already-broke college students to make the slightest of violations.

How much money did the department make last week alone when handing out $50 tickets to students clocked going 4 miles per hour over the ridiculous 20 mph speed limit? And why do you charge me $30 every time the color of the $90 sticker on my windshield doesn’t match the color designated for the parking lot?

I wonder if Northwest’s estimated average cost of attendance includes the numerous tickets all of the students are bound to get. I already pay thousands of dollars to go to school here, so why the hell do I have to pay another $90 to park and another $30 every time I park somewhere convenient?

Sometimes I think UPD is more focused on generating revenue for the school than it is on the best interests of the students.

But hey, at least Grocery Bingo was a success.

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