So I came home from spring break to find my roommate busy unpacking clothes and home-baked cookies from his mom while studying for tests and stuff, but I had to tell him about how off the hook my spring break was. It was legen (wait for it) dary and never to be duplicated! Hahaha! That will never get old, am I right bro?
I knew that this spring break was going to be the illest as soon as we left. Twenty hours in my bro’s 1996 Ford Explorer with five of the sickest party animals evah, plus some random chick that one of the girls knew or something but she was bangin’ hot so I was all like “Whatevs.” Some loser said we should have taken a car that “gets more than 20 miles per gallon,” but first of all we’re American and second of all, dude we got to meet so many truckers and gas station workers who all really seemed like they had their lives together. It was real.
Mexico was awesome. I totally aced the language barrier. I was just like, “Hey amigo, tequila right now,” and I don’t remember much after that, but I’m sure it all worked itself out cuz I’ve got mad intercultural skills to pay the bills. And we’re no fools, so we brought tons of liquids so we didn’t have to drink the water. Dos Equis? Breakfast of champions. And lunch and dinner. Winning, am I right? A little alcohol poisoning never hurt anybody anyway. Well, unless you’re a wuss, which none of us were, except my bro’s girlfriend whom we almost had to take to the hospital. Yeah, we partied hard.
But our last night in Mexico was the best. We found some hombres who spoke American, and they showed us some sick parties. My buddy hooked up with some crazy hot Latina chick who ended up taking his wallet in the middle of the night, but dude those people need to make a living somehow, so it’s all good. And he has like some rash or something, but it’s probably just from how hot she was, for real. Yeah she was legit. I don’t even have time to say legitimate because I’m too busy partying.
So what if I spent all my money on gas, smokes and liquor? That’s how I get my party on, alright? Sometimes I just want to chill, and be real, and just, like, chill out with some real bros who like to be real. Deal with it. And in case you didn’t know how good of a spring break I had from all my tweets about it (and I was sooo drunk during most of those LOL LMFAO ROFL), this barbed wire tattoo should give you a pretty good idea. Hell yeah.
The Stroller has been a tradition since 1918 and does not reflect the views of The Northwest Missourian.