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Hey, do you guys realize midterms are like two weeks away? Because midterms are like two weeks away.

So, I’m sitting there in my normal Tuesday lecture class when this guy who gets paid by Northwest to give me assignments and anxiety asked the class if we were ready for midterms.

Midterms? Dude, didn’t we just start or something? I think I took the syllabus quiz for your class like two days ago.

Was everybody else aware this year was moving by this fast? I mean, people say “time flies when you’re having fun,” but I’m straight-up not having a good time right now, despite this semester moving at a sprint.

“The older you are the faster time moves” is something also said by old, white people in my life, but I put it on the not-true scale somewhere between trickle-down economics working and Taylor Swift being bad — the Venn diagram of people mad at those last two takes is just a circle.

In my experience, freshman year was the fastest and each subsequent one has been a dense, mind-numbing slog filled with dread and despair. It’s the inevitable slow march toward unfulfilling adulthood. I love college.

So, I’m not sure why this year is going by faster: maybe it’s the fact that Donald Trump is no longer in the White House, football has fans again or a fortune cookie I got this year said “uncertain things are ahead.”

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that midterms are only a fortnight away — using fortnight in a sentence makes me feel like Abraham Lincoln. Hopefully, it’ll give you extra time to procrastinate preparations for them and then get anxious about your procrastination. That’s how I’ll be spending my time.

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