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Conspiracy theories suck now. Add it to the list of things the MAGA crowd has ruined including the red hats, voting rights and for a brief but devastating period, Kanye West.

Back in my day we used to have fun conspiracies about celebrities being lizards and Ted Cruz somehow terrorizing the city of San Francisco as the Zodiac Killer two years prior to his birth. Yes, there were always the fringe racists who tried to tell you President Barack Obama wasn’t from the U.S., but those people didn’t seem to get any real momentum going.

Now, everytime I want to talk about how the Moon is really a giant Swiss cheese wheel, some moron comes in and tells me Bill Gates is putting microchips in the COVID-19 vaccines.

Could you guys not ruin everything? I used to have fun researching conspiracy theories on YouTube and now I can't do that anymore without ending up with recommended videos popping up on my feed of some QAnon follower trying to explain why the last eight times Donald Trump was going to come back were false, but this time it’s actually happening. I really hope you guys didn’t have parties every time that was supposed to happen. That’s a lot of wasted time at Party City.

I guess now that I have one less hobby to kill time, I will continue to search “Donda” on Twitter and refresh every three seconds until Kanye actually drops the album. That should occupy me for a year.

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