The outrageously unnecessary amount of Miley Cyrus that has unwarrantably become our day-to-day conversation is upsetting beyond measure.
All of you who plastered social media with “Murica, F yeah, we’re awesome” July 4 should seriously re-evaluate because, sorry folks, we’re not No. 1 anymore. And no, Miley’s not to blame, but rather the fact that we care.
Sure, we will always be back-to-back World War champions… Holla! And we did invent the ice cream cone, you’re welcome world, but as of late, we’ve sort of let down the big guys who founded and fought for this place you call “Murica.”
I mean, have you forgotten that the man himself, Abe Lincoln, killed all those vampires with Harriet Tubman to end slavery? I haven’t. Lincoln and our founding fathers would be shocked that Americans know more about the Kardashians than Syria.
Do you even know why the 113th society of old white guys is called the do-nothing congress? I’ll let you think on that, “Murican” citizens.
Unfortunately, last weekend forever changed the way we look at foam fingers at sporting events, and not to mention that our childhood memories of Hannah Montana were officially destroyed.
What the hell are we going to do now that she’s not 14 anymore?
Apparently, when she hopped off that plane at LAX she turned into a blasting, foam-finger “twerk” machine. I put twerk in quotes because, let’s be honest, we see it done better on the weekends at Molly’s.
This should be the catalyst for America to finally stop caring about what semi-talented people (I’m giving her some slack since her father’s heart is fragile) do with their personal lives.
Right now the United States government is weighing the options of getting involved in a Syrian civil war, where chemical weapons are now free game, apparently, and innocent civilians are dying daily. But at the front of “Muricans’” minds is how to make a funny “twerk” joke in 140 characters or less… I win that game anyway.
One can make the case that the media itself is to blame for the coverage or lack thereof on important topics, but in reality, the root of the problem is the public. If we ask questions and write to our congress men and women, they might not have time to send dirty pictures to “ratchet” women. The idea of change seems impossible, but a single act can change a social trend into a way of life.
Or we could just sit around and keep talking about how many times famous guys have screwed over Taylor Swift, your choice, "Murica."