I forgot, over the summer, that there was a third Casey’s General Store coming to Maryville, so when I drove down Main Street from Highway 71 on move-in day, getting ready for my sophomore year, I was thrilled.
I’m from Iowa. Casey’s is embedded into my culture. It’s part of my DNA. I was born in the bathroom of a Casey’s, twice. I grew up there. And it’s about time Maryville got on board, but I still want one more.
In Iowa, I think there’s some kind of law that says we have to have a Casey’s General Store every half mile or so (don’t fact check that). It’s honestly sickening to me that Missouri and Maryville don’t follow this rule.
By my math, Maryville, a town of roughly 12,00 people, needs at least three more Casey’s to survive, but we’ll start with just one.
I know that the locations of the three Casey’s here already are all incredibly convenient, strategically placed nowhere near campus. But you don’t understand how much I need mediocre pizza in my life. And their sub-average donuts are an Iowan delicacy.
Don’t give me a quality pizzeria near campus. Don’t give me a donut shop with convenient hours. And don’t you dare give me a QuickTri — err, uh, I mean a gas station with clean bathrooms and appealing food options. Just give me a fourth Casey’s, please.