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Let’s talk about the biggest win-win scenario on campus: Starbucks’ free coffee after 9 p.m. Didn’t know that was a thing? Clearly not utilizing your resources.

Never was there a bigger missed opportunity than being anywhere within a 5-mile radius, which is conveniently the entire diameter of Maryville, of free coffee and then turning it down.

“But it’s after 9 p.m.! I can’t drink coffee past 8 a.m. without being up all night!” Can’t relate. But if that’s you, it seems like the second biggest missed opportunity around is the chance to utilize those extra hours during the night you’ve been wasting sleeping.

Plus, by the rules of reduce, reuse, recycle, it’s saving the turtles, and by the number of fancy straws around, clearly we’re really passionate about that. OK, can’t confirm it saves the turtles, but after watching “Nemo,” can’t imagine the leftover coffee goes anywhere other than the ocean. So really, every cup you make is one more cup not going to over-caffeinated a bunch of sea turtles.

Not willing to sacrifice for the turtles? That’s cool; that passion would be better placed towards coffee anyways.

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