I don’t understand the point of grass.  Read more

Samuel Westbrook, better known as “Geno” by friends, is the coordinator of counseling in the University’s Upward Bound program. Westbrook has lived in 12 different states and four different countries, and he has traveled to many more. Read more

Since COVID-19, small businesses have been growing rapidly. Even in Maryville, many locals and students are turning their hobbies into something others can enjoy as well. Read more

While her desk sits in Martindale Hall, Assistant Professor Nina Adanin has traveled and ventured all across the globe, from the heights of the Himalayan Mountains, the scorching Middle East, the majestic Atlantic Ocean, the freezing Arctic and the humid Colombian jungles. Read more

I suppose it all started at 6:30 a.m. when I rolled out of bed. I had a vision. Through the haze, I saw an Instagram account that shared the unspoken truths of Northwest. It took me three minutes to do what had to be done. I gave birth to Bearcat Facts. Read more

On the bottom floor of the Nodaway County Administration Center sits a large room full of old letters, collections of wills and dozens of large books full of court records going back to the county’s formation in 1845. To most people, this place would be something more elaborate than someone’… Read more

Everyone seems to be all up in arms about this email we got on April Fools’ Day. I mean, I don’t even know what a regent — sounds like some pimple medicine honestly — is, and I’m sure they do suck as much as you guys say. But can we appreciate President John Jasinski’s all-time April Fools’ joke? Read more

If you read old versions of this ridiculous satire piece read by three people, you won’t actually find satire. You’ll find one person writing about things they saw on campus. It’s wild; they would use names and everything. Essentially, this part of the newspaper was for a stalker to publish … Read more

Alright, that was enough; we can go back to wearing masks now. Read more

On Tuesday – also known as twosday – the people of Maryville awoke to an unexpected inch of ice on their windshields. Not only did we get to spend half an hour scraping it off of our cars, we were also blessed with testing out the theory of death while driving to our morning classes. Read more

Most of you are liars. In recent weeks, I have conducted a poll of those around me — they're likely more accurate than the polls Hillary Clinton did in 2016. And the data shows me that you all claim to like the Winter Olympics more than their summer counterparts. You don’t; none of you are w… Read more

There’s a societal shift of cataclysmic proportions happening. Ever since the beginning of this never-ending Panda Express, nobody seems to give me sympathy for my cold anymore. Read more

To my fellow Chiefs fans, I think you’re great and all, but for once in your life, shut up about losing a game. The Chiefs lost. Let me say that again to make sure everyone understood that correctly: The Chiefs lost. Read more

This Stroller is entirely directed at the person who wrote last week’s. If you are not that particular malcontent individual, who is likely sitting at home watching HBO Max, drinking iced coffee and ignoring their scholastic responsibilities, then you can disregard this. Read more

I will not be graduating Sumo Fort Lauderdale, and I truthfully don’t care. Northwest requires a 2.0 to graduate, so that is what I’m shooting for. Read more

There are a lot of Christmas songs, and an innumerable amount of them are bad. Some are just terrible pop renditions of classic songs sung by people who couldn’t find a tune if it hit them on the back of the head. Others are just creepy. However, there is one truly terrible, gut-wrenching, e… Read more

I’m about to dust off a take so cold it would make my ex-girlfriend’s heart look like the sun in comparison. Christmas should not be celebrated until after Thanksgiving. Read more

Northwest junior guard Trevor Hudgins drove straight at the Northern State player directly in front of him. With the defender off-balance, Hudgins planted his right foot, angling back and left to create separation. Hudgins exploded upward, releasing his shot several feet behind the 3-point a… Read more

If you are the person that believes getting blacked out is a personality trait, you should Google AA. College is draining enough, now I have found myself gagging at the thought of alcohol. Read more

Today’s college sophomores are essentially freshmen with darker bags under their eyes. The pandemic robbed them of the “college experience” and indoctrinated them into the ways of online finals and no football games. Read more

As soon as the calendar turns to the 10th month, people start to get excited. The middle of fall — or if you are pretentious and insufferable, autumn — signifies the beginning of Halloween or, in other words, “spooky szn.” Read more

Warm light flickered across the face of Señor Burrito co-owner Eric Dickey as he took a long-awaited break in a booth across from the entrance of his business. The restaurant was quiet, only filled with the low hum of music and the chatter of three customers as they ate burritos prepared by … Read more

We are in the age of cancel culture, according to people who like to be bigots and then are shocked when they have to pay consequences for it. We, as a society, have canceled everything from racists to homophobes to people who genuinely believe “Cars 2” is good — it’s the worst Pixar movie, … Read more

Everyone’s favorite alien parasite cosplaying as a computer science nerd with daddy issues lost $7 billion on Monday. Mark Zuckerberg lost a mere fraction of his total net worth because Facebook and Instagram didn’t work for the majority of the day. He’s not the only one who lost something y… Read more

Are you tired of people pushing an extensively researched, completely safe COVID-19 vaccine on you? Do you want to use alternative methods like Ivermectin and bleach injections but are worried about possible side effects? Well, I just might have a solution for you. Read more

Rain meant no farming would get done on that particular, strangely chilly September day. Interrupting the quiet surrounding, an engine croaked up the side of the house. In his Polaris four-wheeler, which was covered in dust and filled with loose tools, sits Larry Ecker, a more-than-classic-f… Read more

Hey, do you guys realize midterms are like two weeks away? Because midterms are like two weeks away. Read more

A raucous sitcom starring four elderly friends first hit the air in 1985. “The Golden Girls” was known for its raunchy plotlines, one-liners and a cast well into their AARP memberships that acted as though they were just out of college. Four women with a passion for Northwest didn’t set out … Read more

Holidays have rules. For Memorial Day, one must get drunk on a pontoon boat because somehow that honors our troops who have died in battle — side note but the people posting about how Memorial Day is “more than just a day” on Facebook are normally the drunkest on that day. In the case of Hal… Read more

White people love to talk about the start of hoodie season on Twitter. It’s a pantheon white person topic from June to September; they wait with baited breath for the time when they can break out the old Nike hoodies and crewnecks from colleges they didn’t go to. I, as a white person, would … Read more

Conspiracy theories suck now. Add it to the list of things the MAGA crowd has ruined including the red hats, voting rights and for a brief but devastating period, Kanye West. Read more

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. The overused phrase is often attributed to the time of year when Maryville looks like the set of a sequel to “The Revenant” where Leonardo DiCaprio treks through the terrible ice-laden parking lot of Taco Bell to get to Taco John’s. However, here in … Read more

As my freshman year comes to a close, I thought it’d be a fitting stroller to simply write about how much I enjoyed living in the dorms.  Read more

If you haven’t given much thought to how wonderful cows are, you should. Cows are just like people; they get emotional and happy and sad. That’s why I want to pet one.  Read more

The bars are boring. Parties reek with COVID-19. What else is there to do in Maryville? After months of craving some excitement, I finally discovered the cure for the Maryville blues — bowling.  Read more

I’ve noticed people on campus not following one particular safety guideline. No, I’m not talking about the athletes that can run for days at practice but can’t be bothered to pull their masks over their noses. I’m also not talking about that one guy that ignores his assigned seat in class an… Read more

I avoided military recruiters like the plague in high school, and I thought that since I’m in college now, I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone trying to trick me into dying in the desert for a barrel of oil, but luckily for me there’s even more of them on campus. Read more

We’ve been in virtual classes for a year and some people still haven’t gotten Zoom right. It’s whatever; I know it must be difficult to understand a simple video chat program in 12 months.  Read more

Sitting at a corner table in Board Game Cafe as the large rectangular windows displayed rows of small businesses at his back, Dannen Merrill spoke of the importance of supporting them. For Merrill, the desire to serve and his experience in finances and accounting pushed him to run for a City… Read more

Though it’s barely a mile north of Maryville’s town square, Oak Hill Cemetery is easy to miss. Tucked between Main and Dewey streets, this 28.46-acre property where slimly paved roads dissect small patches of grass dotted with tombstones is not the kind of graveyard one would consider remark… Read more

In today’s world children become adults on a timeline. The first milestone is a driver's license at 16. The federal government says you are an adult at 18, and a bartender says it’s 21. Some think you are not an adult until you pay rent or other payments. I believe you are an adult when you … Read more

One of the most prevalent personality traits among the eternally boring and insufferable people in my life is their unfounded hatred of TikTok. They believe — just like the guy who peaked in high school that was too cool to dance to the wobble at prom — that their nonparticipation in popular… Read more

I suppose it all started in the election of 2016. The orange wall man with stupid hair and the “Zodiac Killer” for the republicans while the left was stuck with Hillary “Pokemon Go to the polls” Clinton and Col. “Feel the Bern” Sanders. We all were on an uneasy edge that took off in the form… Read more

If you don’t own a four-wheel-drive vehicle, you might want to make sure that your airbags are effective and your insurance is up to date.  Read more

Brittany Roberts was comfortable in a city. Showing her self-described loud and colorful personality while walking around St. Louis was second nature to her. But she gave up the comfort of a packed metropolitan area to move somewhere that made her uncomfortable — Maryville. Read more

Remember the good old days when people could smoke cigarettes in restaurants? And the even better days when they forced smoking sections into said restaurants so smokers could sip their chemical cocktails without disturbing the non-smokers? Well, I think this same concept should be implement… Read more